I’m on the INTROvert end of my omnivert continuum these days. I can spend most of my time happily in my own shit, and it’s not just work and my interpersonal relationships that are taking me into that headspace. I’m self-reflexive these days. It has been a changing year all ’round. I began the year … Continue reading
So tired i am, but as i prepare for bed, i am thinking of a friend who posted that she was laying in bed with her beloved… whose hand was resting inside her lips… yes… lips. The image she painted with those few words stirred more than my libido… it made my heart smile, because … Continue reading
He leaned in… the smile leaving his face altogether and his eyes going seriously cold. He said simply “Stop… or Yellow, Red… do you know what they mean? Can you say them?” He made me say them, then. i felt like i was back in kindergarten. Those of us who play in formal settings… at … Continue reading
I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. W.B.Yeats i just caught sight of His picture on my phone and it took me to a quiet and warm place instantaneously. That feeling was suddenly replaced with a feeling akin to terror. i am given pause… sometimes… by the … Continue reading
i passed a very nice Christmas. It was the first Christmas in recent memory that had no tether to my father (he called but i didn’t pick up or check voicemail). i replied to a text from my brother. i didn’t call my aunt. i made a purposeful decision to speak to… to touch… the … Continue reading
Recently, i took a fall and i hurt myself in a major way. Surgery went well, and i’m healing, albeit slowly. This time in recovery has been a humbling experience as i learn what it feels like to be unable to do the simplest things for myself. It’s difficult for me to ask for help, … Continue reading
A few years ago, i snapped this image of my brother and father on a visit with them. i kept it all these years because of the odd ghost effect… it was as if my brother was passing through – they weren’t touching. i feel comfortable posting it here because they are not recognizable in … Continue reading
She asked me, “Does it ever go away?” and i wanted to tell her it did… but couldn’t lie to her. “No,” i told her… “it doesn’t ever go away…” and she continued crying – her pale skin blotching with emotion… her shaking hands taking kleenex after kleenex from mine . i told her that … Continue reading
i realize that i get shy at weird times… in some ways, perhaps, it is an endearing quality… i get shy when i am complimented, for instance. And what greater compliment can be paid than for someone to train a lens on you? Each snap says, “what I see in you is something worth capturing… … Continue reading
Later today… barring any unforeseen circumstances, i will take a frayed length of red yarn from around my left wrist. i’ve grown accustomed to its presence It’s been there for weeks… since the morning i placed it there as a proxy of sorts. i was struggling with conflicting emotions. When i gave voice to my … Continue reading
