This is life, I suspect. At its most beautiful and fragile, it is all about impermanence. God, I hate that bullshit and yet I know it to be true. Impermanence. I suffer in this knowledge because – well – I am suffering it. I do not wish it to be so. I think of the … Continue reading
TRIGGER WARNING: childhood trauma, father, abuse, molestation When I was in an undergrad lit class, we were assigned poems to read and this was one. I had to dig it up online today and found it with keywords “father – dance – such waltzing was not easy” My Papa’s Waltz (Theodore Roethke) The whiskey on … Continue reading
I wrote this over a year ago. A few months later, I’d pull the plug (albeit temporarily) on this blog. I’d disable my wawbat facebook. I spent little time on fet at all between then and now, and when I came back to this blog today… I found this and marveled at the emotions which have … Continue reading
Last night, I stumbled… metaphorically speaking… upon a decades-old crack in my pavement. It seemed like the tiniest split in the earth’s surface at first but it widened and its chasm felt too deep… too dark… she asked if I was okay and all I could say was, “I will be.” And I was, after … Continue reading
Been awhile since I posted. I got a cold and then something else and then… something extra nasty. I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but whether it is simple coincidence or magick, the fact remains: I felt worse and worse until I decided to feel the fuck better (and had plenty … Continue reading
Because there was a warm palm pressed against my stomach while I slept and a plate of french toast waiting for me when I woke… Because she loves dogs, even the ones we haven’t adopted yet… Because she is patient when I’m in hyperspasticbatmode and equally as supportive when I’m stressed or sad… Because she welcomed me … Continue reading
I’m capable of grand gestures. I’ve made them before (and likely will again) but they aren’t always necessary and sometimes they simply don’t feel right. And so it was with my woman… when the jokes and light references had come and gone… when the rhythm of our joined lives began to create a new song of … Continue reading
I’m on the INTROvert end of my omnivert continuum these days. I can spend most of my time happily in my own shit, and it’s not just work and my interpersonal relationships that are taking me into that headspace. I’m self-reflexive these days. It has been a changing year all ’round. I began the year … Continue reading
It’s not a complicated story or one of great import… just another face-palm moment for yours truly. Some teens (high school students) protested at the Donald Trump rally in Columbus last week. Videos showed The Donald ordering them to be taken out (it happens to protesters, i have no beef with that except that he … Continue reading
It’s been over a month since i wrote here. Wow. The seasons have flipped with unexpected speed for me this year. Suddenly, the bones are aching as i adjust awkwardly to the chilly air and darkness. Even that extra hour (thanks, Daylight-Saving-Time) can’t help. This morning – like most – she steps out into the … Continue reading
