TRIGGER WARNING: childhood trauma, father, abuse, molestation When I was in an undergrad lit class, we were assigned poems to read and this was one. I had to dig it up online today and found it with keywords “father – dance – such waltzing was not easy” My Papa’s Waltz (Theodore Roethke) The whiskey on … Continue reading
He hates this song. An odd song for a preaching man to hate, yes? He made me promise once to keep it out of his funeral… such is his distaste for it. i’ve had some things happen recently that make me fear his passing… well, not so much his passing as much as his lingering… visiting… latching … Continue reading
i just sent my morning email to Master. It included this line: “Today is my father’s birthday. i’m eating Farina. i’m waxing nostalgic for stuff i didn’t even like.” True. Let’s back up to yesterday when my mother gave me a box of Farina. Haven’t seen it in years. i am quite certain it’s still … Continue reading
i wrote a piece for an english class years ago. We were reading Socrates. i focused on Antigone and her father (Oedipus, of course). “Like father, like daughter” was the title of the paper… and that pretty much sums it up. While most people view the oedipal story through the lens of males and their … Continue reading
i assume the Buddha masturbated…i assume that the Christ also masturbated…as did his mother. They were humans, after all… if they existed at all… they were humans with all the human desires. Someone’s likely to get their panties in a bunch over this, but only (in my opinion) because they equate masturbation with sin or … Continue reading
She messaged to say that she was dying. It could be months she said, or a few years, but it is progressing more rapidly than she thought. She wants me to help her sort out some business. She is frightened… i can taste it in her choice of words. She has to give up her … Continue reading
i passed a very nice Christmas. It was the first Christmas in recent memory that had no tether to my father (he called but i didn’t pick up or check voicemail). i replied to a text from my brother. i didn’t call my aunt. i made a purposeful decision to speak to… to touch… the … Continue reading
A few years ago, i snapped this image of my brother and father on a visit with them. i kept it all these years because of the odd ghost effect… it was as if my brother was passing through – they weren’t touching. i feel comfortable posting it here because they are not recognizable in … Continue reading
She asked me, “Does it ever go away?” and i wanted to tell her it did… but couldn’t lie to her. “No,” i told her… “it doesn’t ever go away…” and she continued crying – her pale skin blotching with emotion… her shaking hands taking kleenex after kleenex from mine . i told her that … Continue reading
