The image she painted with those few words stirred more than my libido… it made my heart smile, because i know that feeling of safety and place and love and lust. my lover lays in her bed across town and i long for the knowledge that she is just an arm-length away. i’m enjoying the trust that is growing between us, even though logic tells me not to trust so soon. Fuck that… fuck logic. i choose love. i choose trust.
i remember a passage from the Song of Solomon and i smile and think of S…
I was asleep but my heart was awake.
A voice! My beloved was knocking:
‘Open to me, my sister, my darling,
My dove, my perfect one!
For my head is drenched with dew,
My locks with the damp of the night.
So, i will post and shut down the computer. i will turn off the lights in my little house and walk the short hallway to my bed. i will think of her and of us. i may touch myself and imagine her hand resting there. i will remember how it is to hear her breaths coming fast and furious before slowing again for sleep next to me. i will think of this morning when we were both so tired and yet so hungry that we could not help but feed from each other.
i’m okay knowing that i have no power to make her stay… i am content in the knowledge that i give her my heart with no promise that it will not be hurt… and i love her.
And so it goes…