i do love me some ferret… not the animal… the person.
Today, i happened across one of his writings on the fet and it linked to the original post found here.
And i’d just – moments before – read something that PA wrote on fet… she spoke of being wrapped in doubt… and she spoke of living without fear… of the reality that some of us allow someone else’s thoughts/feelings/beliefs to drive our decisions… she likened it to “someone else’s soured milk staining your soul” and i wanted to say “A-fucking-men… preach it!”
Yesterday was father’s day and that brought up a lot of shit – the choices i made to rid my life of him. Period. That has been just one choice – among many – that i’ve needed to make for my own health and sanity (yes, i said “need” because it isn’t a want… it is a need).
Saying NO is hard, yup.
Learning to say it is uncomfortable.
Here’s the kicker, though. i matter.
i fucking matter.
my safety and my sanity and my soul… those things matter
That No... no i will not do this (or that) and no i will not allow this (or that) and no you cannot do this or that to me without consequences… that “no” is important and perhaps one of the most important words in my vocabulary now.
i’m going to try to be mindful though, of the importance of YES… but the ability to say “NO” makes any “YES” from me that more powerful and meaningful, in my opinion.
i’ll keep practicing over here