i do not question my choice to serve Master.

There are days when i question how to do it, or how best to do it, but the decision was sound and i am pleased by it – and happy in it.

i’ve been struggling with some of the more internal aspects; i find myself checking my ego, questioning motivations of myself and others, and needing to check in with Him more often. i need to remember, sometimes, why i am where i am.

And i think of this today: “my heart has no desire to stay where doubts arise and fears dismay. Though some may dwell where those abound, my prayer, my aim, is higher ground.”

Yep… i often think of hymns at the strangest times. i suppose this should not surprise me, given that this music was the soundtrack of my childhood and adolescence. Still… it still sneaks up on me when i find myself humming one and i find that when i stop to think about what i’m saying… the song is generally applicable.

Today? Higher Ground comes to my throat… vibrating there… sending me to youtube in search of a rendition i like. i am disappointed. i don’t like the heavy organ sound or the swelling choir versions, either. i wrinkle my nose at the one band that takes the 2 minute song and stretches it into a 6 minute excuse to show off their musical stylings.

i land on a version without human voice because i know the song… i listen to the video and lay over my own thoughts. i think of Master and of the path i’m on. i swap words for others. i take heaven off the table…  i smirk at satan’s darts… but i keep the parts that resonate with me.

Many of them do.

i think of a moment yesterday when Master reminded me… “…recognize what you’ve built so far…”

Higher Ground played by the Parson Sisters

(Instrumental Version… mostly because i played the piano for a year and the trumpet for a year… and here they both are together)