i always thought i was being strong when i ‘overcame’ shit… when i warrior-ed through it… translated… when i didn’t let it hurt me.

There was no real strength in that… perhaps there was determination… pluck… a certain level of persistence… but strength? Not so much.

i thought some folks i’ve shared my life with were strong – and tonight i realized they weren’t. They just had more physical might than i did. They were bullies… they were cowards.

There have been people who could have killed me… wanted to kill me… and it would perhaps have been easier to deal with that – it is finite. There is no real pain in death… only in the moments leading up to it. Easy to deal with that.

But letting go takes strength. Opening up… takes courage.

So this is not easier.

Harder –  i heard tonight –  Harder but better

Massive Attack’s – What Your Soul Sings