i created this identity… this wawbat.
Into her i permitted the me that i like… the me that gave me joy… the me i hoped to be.
From her i attempted to banish the fear i felt in my everyday life, the past mistakes that i was punishing myself for, the limitations that my god and my family and my community had placed on me.
And then, from wawbat, my Belum pulled bat. This identity gave me further freedom… freedom to follow His lead… freedom to think not so much… but to feel more.
Living with intent but without apology for who i am and what i want… this is so liberating.
Being slave… being slut… being bat… i am reminded of a line from a text i use frequently, “Change is possible… given opportunity”
This becoming is a process. Leaving the carefully constructed identity i built for everyone else… and trying to reimagine the person i could be…. this is no easy task.
i’m no fan of Disney – as a company or as a culture. Still, there are things that good old Walt did well. One thing i vibe to is his inclusion of the job of Imagineer. One of the principles of this profession (see the wiki entry) is “blue sky speculation,” a process where Imagineers generate ideas with no limitations.
Ideas with no limitations. What a concept. What a frightening yet exciting prospect.
To write my story… my life… on a page where even the lines can be moved and reimagined… this excites me.
Billy Joel’s My Life